……
im just about to go to sleep, and thought id let out some of the stuff that is on my mind at the moment…. its pretty depressing but yeah, you can hate on it all you want, whatever.
im really tired of life aye… for many reasons….
im 20 years old at the moment, and have been sick since i was 17….. what type of sickness? i have no idea and neither do the doctors… i have researched my symptoms and tried numerous “ways” to get better but with no prevail…. everyday is hard….. i know millions of people out there have it alot harder than i do, but i still feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. i used to be so fit, into surfing and was planning on competing in bodybuilding comeptitions. im not sure if anybody reading this has ever physically seen years of hard work slowly fade away and had their dreams lost…. but let me tell you it is the worst feeling i have ever experience in my life… i gave up much of my teenage years and dedicated my days and nights to training hard and sleeping early, and to see 4 years of sacrifice slip through the gaps in your fingers like sand is so horrible, i would not wish it upon my worst enemies aye…..
every night i pray to god asking him “if he has a purpose in my life and that one day i will not be sick, then let me wake the next day, if not, to take me to heaven and not spend another day on this earth feeling like this” its deep i know, but im just venting aye…..
why am i feeling so low? at the moment i cant do anything active…. i can barely hold down my casual job at the video store…. i have no idea how i will be able to work full time, let alone have a family…. im so blessed to have a beautiful girlfriend but i have no idea why she puts up with me… my hands and feet are constantly ice cold which makes me hestiate when shaking peoples hands. even during and after exercise they are ice cold, doctors have no idea why. i cant go surfing (ive tried so many times) because my hands and feet go numb and i cant feel them at all. it takes over an hour in the shower to try and get the feeling back into them. ever heard of somebody getting frostbite from surfing in warm water? no, cos its rediculous.. but is very possible for me… when i do exercise (weights, cardio etc) my body doesnt sweat ate all (even during high exertion) or even warm up and the next day my muscles become so deeply sore that it hurts to move them, on top of being bed ridden for two days after with strong body fatigue… i am a full qualified personal trainer and cant even use that because “how can i teach someone to be healthy when i cant even do it myself”…… the reason alot of my problems are fitness related is because fitness is a big part of my life, and my body is almost alergic to it now…. try thinking of the one thing in your life that you are passionate about and love deeply, then not being able to interact with it or do it….. you will never fully understand what i feel…..
i have no idea what to do, i honeslty hope i dont wake up tomorrow…. i cant even imagine anymore what it would feel like to be free……
thanks for taking the time to read my garbage, if you do read through the whole thing, please, dont ever take your health for granted aye, cos i would do anything to have mine back.
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I think i know y u feel tired most of the time like sort of depressed anmd for the reason y ur cold all the time. First off u r only 20 u still are young so dont give up. Next u could be enimic which is when ur body lacks iron. try doing th is. take vitamins like “one a day” vitamns or regular vitamins that hav a lot of iron it it. Before taking vitamins ask ur doctor first. Then jus take one day or three days out of ur week and jus sleep. if u cant sleep then go to ur doctor and ask him if itsokay if u take tylenol extra strenth. that will make u slepp in two minutes. but dont forget to ask ur doctor first so nothin bad happens to u. the reason y u feel sick all the tim is because of years of training tha put stress on ur young body in ur teen years. and now ur feeling the efffets from it. If ur not sweating during hi exertion excerice then u probabley dont have any sweat glands. Did you used to sweat when u were younger? If not then u might not hav and sweat glands. U should stop doing exercise and tryin to ligft weights and wait a couple of years so ur body can rest and repair itself after a ll those years of lifting weights. acupunture is also a good way to relive strees and sickness!! u should jus take a day and so to a spa and gett and massage or go in a hot tub to circulize the blood in ur body. oh and the reason y ur hands r always cold r because ur blood is thin. the thicker ur blood the more it could heat ur body. since ur blood is thin. the blood cant heat ur body and acts like its just liquid going through ur body. Try eatin more potatoes and food high in ironn and take vitamins with iron in them every day. I know u feel sick and like no on can help u but please try my advice and if it still doesnt work you should go get ur blood tested for any complications.
any more advice please contat me or add me tour contacts 
dont give up
“I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man that had no feet”.
Tired of life ??? Well, it beats the alternative.
Get some counseling. Actually, see a psychiatrist because you probably need therapy and medication.
Well, at a pragmatic view… Y’know if you get concentrated nicotine, you can put about 2 drops in some coffee. Drink it and sleep well.
Just go to different docters and if that does not help then suggest to the Docter that its a rare type of disease
go to therapy..i knoww it sounds stupid but it really works..you need to let your emotions out theres nothiing wrong with it
You have Hypothermia. It’s when your body can not warm itself up.
Hey, you aren’t the only one who feels like this. I sympathize deeply.
Pray
you are a good person and just keep trying
we both share similar problems
even I am 20 and am going thru same thing
hey you, what you wrote isn’t garbage,
I feel for you dear, do not give up so easily, you have a loving girlfriend and if she puts up with you that means she sees something in you that is not in others and for that you should be proud.
I know how hard life could be and the experiences and having your dreams taken away and not being able to do anything about it. But one thing you should do is to hope and work for better things in life.
I do feel the same for i have been in depression for 6 years and having no one on my side to help me but to meditate and write down my own feelings which i started doing only a month ago, but being in this situation for 6 years! at least you are blessed with someone so real who is always by your side. Do not feel down. I have lost almost everything but I’m still going.
I would like to share a quote with you, if i may, its by Oscar Wilde
““What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”” Maybe these trials are there to show you the goodness and the blessings you have in your life? that girlfriend of urs, maybe your family.
Take time for yourself, do more activities with the person you love ie your girlfriend. Avoid being in the crowd for a while and instead focus on getting better by meditating, writing and even listening to music! it helped me a lot, and of course keep praying to God for refuge.
do not give up on your hopes and dreams and instead work on them. you are one f the few, i feel. Stay strong.
I cant even imagine what your going threw But have you tried the Mayo Clinic or Hughes Research Institute and ask them what your symptons might be and yes they are the very best in the world. They both have websites. I pretty sure you dont live in America but you sure can ask. I hope you get your strength back
I wonder if you have neuropathy? Has anyone looked into that? My bf has some of those symptoms. He used to be terribly depressed. Years ago he was in excellent shape, then he was in a wreck and got all depressed and he was in pain… Then he started school, started getting out and meeting people, playing cool games he likes, being more active… Now we’ve lost weight and he’s feeling so much better.
I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope it passes.
nice story aye<== love that part and the rest. sorry you feel that way. maybe god has something plan for you. they say life is a test and we go through hard times maybe your going through that stage and when you feel like all your hope is gone you turn to him and he’ll do the rest. if your just thinking of not waking up the next day then you are only putting yourself down and you self esteem. i guess you have to be positive to feel positive. hope god answers your prayers and find a cure for what ever your symptoms are. god bless!
Well I went from being totally healthy to being really sick. I was diagnosed with Lupus (an autoimmune disease) and it’s been hard to cope. It must be hard not knowing what you have, but keep on searching, it’s probably some rare disease that not a lot of doctors know about. Keep looking on the internet or keep going to specialist, it might pay off one day. I do recommend seeing a therapist, it will help to vent your frustrations. Maybe take an antidepressant. Be thankful you have a gf. Life is hard, hopefully you’ll make it out of this tough time.
This isn’t a question, it’s a journal entry.
Do this instead: http://www.livejournal.com/
The alternative is a lot worse, and lasts a lot longer. Keep on living, ’cause we enjoy your company. Get back to me tomorrow night and tell me how you feel. Yes, you do have a purpose in life, and if you’re a Buddhist, you’ll know that you’ll just have to come back again to do it if you opt out this time.
I know what it’s like to greive a life you once had, feel free to do so.
I have been sick since I was six months old. Although my dr.s were able to get me stable enough, I went to school,college I even held down a career for 12 years. My biggest problem was really bad headaches daily.
But, a year age I had to quit work, because the headache got terrible, and I started having increadible pain in the rest of my body. I can no longer teach children during the week and it broke my heart. But, I also went from incredibly active, to not being able to do half as much.
But, I feel icreadibly blessed I may use a walker to do it, bt I still teach Sunday school. The kids love the walker. And, I am starting to focus on what I can do, as apossed to what I can’t do. Istead of thinking about the marrage I don’t have, I think about the supportive family I do have. Instead of thinking about the health problems, I try and thrink about the healthly party of me.
Also I know from dealing with health issues all my life God can what going on with you to bless someonelse. And, by blessing someone else you will be blessed.
God did not want me to have headaches, but he knew I could handle them. He has sent people in my path for me to e=incourage who also struggle with headache. Or people are watching and are amazed to see me perserver, even when I struggle and that incourges them. The same could be true one day for you.
But, when you need to vent, that’s where I struggle the most. Find someone you can talk to. Ask me to pray, just so you know your not alone.
don’t give up
laugh to much
love to often
and live the way you want to live
treat yourself to something you
have always wanted.
thats so sad that you dont want to live anymore sweet heart.
just smile every once in a while hunny